I've been thinking a lot about what makes a house feel like a home.

Not the kind of home you see in magazines or the perfectly styled corner of someone's living room on Instagram. I'm talking about the kind of home that feels right when you walk in the door. The kind that holds you.

For years, I got caught up in the idea that my space needed to look a certain way. I'd spend hours convinced that if I just found the right coffee table or the perfect paint color, my home would finally feel "done."

But here's the truth I've learned: a home isn't meant to be finished. It's meant to be lived in.

Designing Around How You Actually Live

The most peaceful homes I've been in weren't the most expensive or the most perfectly styled. They were the ones where someone had clearly thought about how they actually spend their days.

I have this friend whose living room has the most beautiful reading nook tucked into a bay window. Nothing fancy, just a cushion, some pillows, and a small shelf of books. But every time I visit, she's actually sitting there. It's not for show. It serves a purpose in her real life.

When I finally stopped trying to recreate spaces I saw online and started paying attention to how we move through our days, everything shifted. I realized our dining table was barely used because we gravitate toward the kitchen island. So I turned the dining area into a creative space instead, now it's where my kids do homework and where I write these posts.

Creating Anchor Points That Ground You

Every home needs anchor points—the spots that make you exhale when you see them.

For me, it's our kitchen window. I've arranged it so that when I'm making coffee in the morning, I look outside. No matter what chaos the day might bring, that moment centers me.

These anchor points don't have to be elaborate or expensive. They just need to be intentional. Maybe it's where you charge your phone away from your bed. The hook where you hang your keys. The corner where you roll out your yoga mat.

Questions I Ask About Every Space

Whenever I'm feeling stuck with a room, I step back and ask myself:

• How do I want to feel in this space?

• What actually happens in here most days?

• What's not working right now?

• What's one thing I could remove?

• What's one thing that would make daily life easier?

It's less about aesthetics and more about alignment. Does this room align with how we actually live?

I've found that when I start with these questions instead of "how should it look?", the design decisions flow more naturally. And the result is a home that feels right, not just one that photographs well.

Your Home Is Not a Photo Shoot

At the end of the day, your home isn't meant to be perfect. It's meant to be the backdrop for your life, with all its beautiful, messy, complicated moments.

The coffee rings on our dining table tell stories of conversations that ran long. The scuffed floors map the paths we take most often. The couch with the slightly worn cushion shows where my husband sits every evening.

These aren't flaws to be fixed. They're evidence of a life being lived.

So if you take anything from this, let it be permission. Permission to create a home that serves you, not social media. Permission to prioritize comfort over perfection. Permission to let your space evolve as you do.

Because a truly nurturing home isn't about how it looks. It's about how it feels when you walk in the door.